I love you she said and hugged him tightly. it was the only thing that made her feel good, hugging him, being in his arms and declaring her undying love for him…

the only thing she now longed for was a declaration from him. Nothing she did could ever get that out of him. not that she tried… She had given it up a long time ago. His mere existence in the very place she was in, was enough for her. He was there, for her, with her mattered more now, tomorrow was unpredictable and so the future, it was the present with him that mattered.

She was his, not exclusive yet completely, totally his. Her life had a routine of her own and now his presence was finding a place in her routine. Her little breaks from her life and her me time were getting occupied with activities and person she so longed to be with. Soon the days turned into months and the routine with him in it became a norm. His requirements, his routine, his success, his failure, his lifestyle and his goals all known all being worked on, all dreams being wished upon…

Her life, her routine, her goals, her lifestyle, though a priority that couldn’t be excused or left behind by now had achieved an autopilot mode.

Something had changed though, in recent past, his touch had changed, he connected more often, his concern deeper, she wondered once in a while and then gave up thinking fearing she would lose whatever little she had of him .. by jinxing it.

Just when she was about to give up the hope for his declaration and succumb to being happy in him being there.. he called, all drunk, all wasted, told her he had fucked up … he shouldn’t have left her, she was the one. It was a late night, too late for her to even comprehend what he was up to and the only thing she was worried about was would he reach home safe and sound.

so she kept talking to him till he reached his parking and then kept the phone down hoping he would be ok…

the next day the call didn’t come, neither did it come the day after. she waited patiently for him to respond, patiently for her hope to die and the phase to pass. She knew drunken confessions are always situational and seldom connected with reality.  All she hoped now was a call from him that would set their equation to how it was right before the call.

He called, to check on her one fine day, nothing had changed, the equations still the same, still the routine, her declaration and his acceptance…

Yet deep down now the hope the secret within shinned like a quint little star in deep dark night…