Its funny how big action words with a lot of depth and embedded melodrama are so over rated, say for instance to applaud you can simply say they all clapped or cheered, or to comprehend can simply be written as to understand and like wise.. one such word which is over rated, abused and simply used to the exaggerate is BETRAYAL.

When I think of betrayal, it simply means the change of loyalty from one point to other. Now a Change is always good for one and bad for another, no matter what kind of change it is, again for instance if I decide to shop from a Walmart store instead of a local grocer than the change is good for Walmart and bad for the grocer. Another one lets take this for instance, if I decide to eat at a fine dining restaurant instead of my regular deli again the change is good for the restaurant and bad for the deli. Similarly if I decide to change the focus of my loyalty from one person to another, the change is not so pleasant for one person and may be grand for another. Think about it … now that’s not so bad, is it?

There is always someone who is not going to be happy and someone who is going to be happy.

When I came across this title, it occurred to me that I should ideally write about all the people, instances, memories, situations that I have met, gone through, endured because someone in the past had decided to change the loyalty to someone else or something else. and then I realised that all this while in my journey from being a financially independent strong women, to a housewife, to a mother of two no actually three counting my dog, there have so many instances where I have betrayed myself and time and again continued to do so.

Think about it, be it man or woman, once we assume the role of responsible carriers of tasks there are innumerable betrayals that we end up doing.. when we want to spend money randomly without thinking on things that we dont really need but make us feel good, we betray ourselves telling ourselves that we will buy it some other day thus shifting our loyalties from ourself’s  to something else or someone else we will end up spending that money on, personally this is one instance I always come across, when I see that big bottle of expensive whiskey that I so wanted to taste and I have the penny in my pocket to afford it right then and there and I go ahead and convince myself that there isnt any cause to celebrate I move my loyalties from my desire to feel the warmth of whiskey run down my throat to something as little as finding a cause to celebrate. ( drinking and feeling good doesnt really need a reason or cause of celebration, its just feeling good … )

so what I want to say it my worst betrayal is not one, its those numerous changes of loyalties that I do, constantly moving the focus from me to someone or something else. And I believe this holds true for most of us, we become melodramatic and create a ruckus playing blame games and pointing fingers at others and calling them names, and terming them unfit for relations but if you really think closely its nothing but a change of loyalty which we ourselves are constantly experiencing and doing.

my worst betrayal are all those moments where I cease to be what i want to be, cease doing what i want to do, stop myself from experiencing happiness for countless reason, right or wrong, worth it or absolutely not and shifted the needed means to things or persons or people where I think my loyalties belong.

It’s a mere change in loyalty and the worst one is always when you decide that someone else deserves happiness at the cost of yours.