she lived her life meticulously, every word checked, rehearsed, worked on before being delivered. there was nothing ever ever wrong, nothing ever ever left out .. and yet when the evening came and she returned to her nest, so meticulously designed that it was impossible to find a flaw by the most mean critique she felt empty, sad and hopelessly lonely. the fish in the bowl with its amber tail waving water like a gorgeous scarf in the opening field, the kitchen full of aromas one can die for yet clean as if nothing was every cooked there, the oven hot with light still dim and lingering waiting for the last few seconds to finish, the black granite on the kitchen top and stainless steel huge chimney gave the kitchen a flashy look and yet with all these comforts, tediously arranged decor and ambience created to make the mostly saintly men jealous she felt out of the place.

her bed abnormally big, old oak wood, majestic, mattresses big broad, sheets white as milk and soft as petals, pillows stacked at the head rest with corners embroidered on the covers. the bedside lamp shade sleek yet powerful, nude shades yet classy, books on the side table kept as if carelessly tossed giving a look of comfort, wardrobes could be walked in to for she could sit there in the closet if she had the mood to for hours together and yet come out to a warm bowl of soup on a rainy day to sooth her mood.

it had been like this for years, for decades shall I say, lonely soul with all riches sitting by the fire being worried of growing old with cats to company and yet to afraid to go out and find a mate to share the walk in the woods with dogs she so adored.

not too long ago was this place a different ball game altogether, she lived there with her dream, two kids, couple of dogs and a loyal handsome husband. work was fine,  a routine set with morning teas and evening dinners to be together, PTA’s and soccer games to be attended in alternate engagements…morning squables over waking up early and missing stationery filled the house, occasional tuds of ball in the house made her heart skip a beat or two.

the stillness of the house and lights dimmed away forever sent a shiver down her spine every time she walked across the bedrooms. She prefered study now it was filled with books that smelled familiar, a comfort she had seeked in her childhood when her parents died and she was left alone in the big mansion. it took rather painful years for her to come out of her shell and learn to experience the life again.

she was an engineer by profession, coding and support were only things she was good at, human interaction was limited to survival requirements, that’s when he came by, overtly annoying, too cheerful for his own good and absolutely useless when it came to coding, support had nothing to do with his skill set and she often wondered which university was the one which gave him this degree confirming he was fit to do anything. well the thing she couldn’t deny was he was too good at talking to people and buying extensions on her dead line with a cool charming smile. she often got mad at him for increasing her work and yet somewhere deep down admired his ability to turn the tables around.

so thats how they met and thats how they first saw each other probably, she really doesnt remember the exact day, date occasion or time, but the connections didnt happen over night, he saved her and she saved him and eventually their partnership was recognised by the office first and then them … it was not easy to get along, her schedules in place and his place that went all over her schedule was disturbing and yet unlikely nice, she liked it because it gave a feel of being free and doing something that was more of revolt against her routine and regime that had become a part of life … she liked it because now she was somewhere out of her shell and was beginning to enjoy her life with him. beginning to live, beginning to taste the freedom, feel the drops of rain on her face and remembering to say to herself … it was finally her time to live her childhood that so got lost when her parents died.

things went well between them professionally, they were unstoppable, one acquiring and other relentlessly achieving every single dead line without much hassle… they were the most sort after pair to be requested for every new project… slowly and steadily the whole synchronisation at work seeped in their lives and before they could realise and analyse and put numbers on table to check the feasibility or probability of working their lives together two amazing kids were born. the most beautiful twins she had ever seen, she often marveled at how perfect and beautiful they were….

work was demanding and kids were growing up, it wasnt an easy task but an achievable. for her this was the most important code she had ever written and it was always in need of support.

so this was it , admist of decades going by,. with kids growing up and number of pets increasing life was going on pretty smooth…. and thats when she got the news….. SHUT UP she screamed and screamed wanting to deny the reports, wanting to turn back the watch and watch everyone come home…

times gone by, house empty now, she back in her shell, coding by herself, she finds study better…. the books smell comforting …