its been 4 years 11 months that i have become a mother and in another 1 month it will be complete 5 years…… months of diapers; milk bottles; ear caps and cough syrups; crying nights and amazing days; days when i was amazed at the achievements that the little feet achieved and days when i wondered where did all the vocab come from; days of pride when i was told that my angel was brilliant; days of anxiousness when i discovered that she had stopped talking; days with the feeling of loss when i realised that there was far too much i was making her bear at her age…… change in house; change in surrounding; change in friends; change in people known……. days when her every achievement was a mark assuring that she was coping with the changes…….. and days when there was this sudden plunge in despair when i realised how lonely she got ……..

past 5 years havent exactly been the ideal in my daughters life…. too many experiences….. to many challenges …… to much to accept and work with and yet in all five years she has emerged as glowing star…….. making her way through every big and small hurdle and working her way up the hill………. there are times when she breaks down and times when she is so adamant that i feel i need to give her a whack ( you know the old school of thoughts…….. trust me sometimes its so easy to get work done by that method)……. and then there are days when she just doesnt cooperate…….. but then there are these moments where she understands the physical limitations that i have; limitations that cannot be taken care off and have to be accepted……..

the recent one was when she started missing my mom and settled on talking to her on skype

and the best one…. the advertise in the TV,  shows that moms are really thin and young and fair and good looking (i am good looking ……. but lets face it i dont have the ponds/olay/and what not
 face……. overrated idiot box advertise ) so there was a phase when she practically begged me to buy all the creams shown on the tv which would make me fair………… so we bought one and applied as well……. post a couple of days she realised that the cream was no good ………. so she moved on to finding similarities between real life moms and me….. my neighbours; her school teachers and so on…. and she was pretty ok with the idea that i was able to mix with other moms and wasn’t all that odd man out………….

now here comes the interesting part this afternoon when i went to get her from school she suddenly comes up to me and says ………. mom u know what ? rani teacher is also fat; sarika teacher is also fat just like you …… i was a little dumb struck coz she said it in front of sarika teacher who happens to be a centre head of her school but then again she was just stating the fact wasnt she…………. so i kinda replied yes i know most of the mummas are fat ….. it makes the hugging babies more cuddly….. guess what she actually bought the thought sure she must have found some sense in that……… hehehe

its always been grand to seen my angel grow through all the rough days and smooth…. at times its really difficult to figure out where is all this going ? how is she going to turnout when she grows up….. 

in all this journey of last 5 years i am grateful to my daughter for making it so easy for me …….. i wasnt quiet sure i was a mom material and i dont think i will ever be….. but in last five years not ones has my daughter doubted that and the best part is when i get stuck she easily shows me a way out………. where does this intelligence come from ……… am so tempted to say from me but i guess i should just give her the due credit and just thank her for being forthcoming to all the experiments that i do with parenting styles and yet constantly giving me the results that only make me proud of her all the time………..

its only her that has made motherhood easy for me……….. 🙂